Before I became fat again ..

     Right now, I haven’t been this large since the birth of my youngest son almost twenty-four years ago.  I was twenty-nine then and with the exception of the snickers of new co-workers, I didn’t really care about my weight.  I was trying to prove myself on a new job. 

     However, my feelings were hurt when I heard the rude comments of how fat I was. 

     That is when I decided to take action.

     After studying health magazines such as Prevention, Shape, and Women’s Health, I’d learned to incorporate better eating habits along with exercise.  (Walking, weight lifting, yoga, and aerobics.) I’d lost 40 pound in nine months. 

     A few years later, I joined a Tae Kwon Do studio and trained in martial arts.  This brought more into my fitness routine as well as a positive sense of self.

     Flash to today.  Although I have resumed my MA training after a four-year hiatus, I still need to up my ante in my fitness routine.   Family deaths in three years halted my interest in myself care as I became sad and depressed with my losses.  With the meds I now take, I have ballooned to over 190 pounds.  I have a family history of diabetes, depression, mental illness, and hypertension. 

     Do I want to go out like that?  Absolutely not.

     It’s time to get back to the basics.  It was December 1990 when I began my regime.  How fitting it is to begin on again in the same month.

Free Spirit

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of a ‘free spirit’ is a person with a highly individual or unique attitude, lifestyle, or imagination; nonconformist.

     That’s me.

     Sometimes I can be introverted and thoughtful.  I am one of those who dance at the beat of my own songs.  I am a Church of Christ member; however I have more than 10 tattoos I’d acquired since I was 33 years old.  I am an affectionate woman.  I hug people I know well and, in some instances, those I don’t know too well. I love colorful, flowing clothing.  I am a martial artist.  I am a nurturer.  I am very emotional, yet can be as stubborn as weeds in a garden. 

      To say I am not conservative is an understatement.  Don’t misunderstand, though.  I am a romantic and perhaps 15% traditional.

      Recently,a friend I’ve known for over thirty years questioned me about a recent Facebook picture I have up as my profile.

     “Why that color?” he asked.  The color he was referring to was the weaved-in blonde.    

     “Because my roots were blond and the braider matched the yarn with the roots.”  (Sometimes, I find I have to justify who I am, but this is not the case of late.)

     “I was just wondering” he replied thoughtfully.  “It’s not bad.”  (The world bad’ dragged out a little too long.)

      Uh-huh!

      Not everyone knows how to deal with me.  I am different and it’s who I am.  I’d always teased my parents I am ‘their wild side.’

      I was a proud member of the Armed Forces in my late teens.  As it helped me mature and become more responsible, there was a section of me growing into fruition: the desire to write.

      I’d always loved to write, having done so since the second grade.  I had a flair for self-expression; this is when the tats exploded, the various hair styles, and the romantic, eccentric clothing. 

     Writing is my world.  Words are aphrodisiacs.  Taking ideas and creating stories are more fun than I can express.    

     I’m an odd flow.  I abhor violence, but I love watching forensic and mysteries shows.  I enjoy musicals and sentimental movies (“It’s a Wonderful Life” makes me cry every time I see it) I allow a person many tries, but I am hard on myself.  I trust almost completely, but I hurt easily and once a person exhausts my patience, I have nothing more to do with them. 

     I am hungry for growth, but I am not politically inclined.  I am spiritual, but refuse to argue about religion.  I respect a person for who she/he is, but I resent being told what to do.

    All in all, I am a feel good person. 

    This is why I am ready to transform my outside to match my inside.

    It’s been over 18 months.  I am currently 192 lbs. 

    It's been far too long.